For many, the arrival of winter is cause for celebration, but for pretty people like us, it often brings a sense of dread. It is not enough to know that you will be subjected to a serious examination of such minds where If you choose to spend the warmer months there, you will be judged on what you choose to wear while you’re there. Maybe you’ve told yourself that this is going to be the year you choose to let go – to let go of the stress of wearing an entirely new outfit that you only wear three months out of the year, and work with what you already have. Take it from us – though – as much as summer shopping can be taxing and financially draining, it’s nothing compared to the embarrassment you’ll feel when you’re locked in a Capri wearing that Puccini headscarf you made last year.
So how does one explain this tax action? Well, luckily, there’s no shortage of summertime how-tos – and when we’re having trouble figuring it out, we like to turn to the mysterious figures you already know from Christmas and Valentine’s Day gift lists. What bucket hat am I mad to get for the grand tour of the festival? Just ask your spoiled hypobeast brother! Want to know what the current bikini is? Material Gworl™ has you covered. Trying to figure out how to bring a splash of chic to a dark London stay? Your scheming female boss cousin is a great hand at Primrose Hill picnicking over a week in Pantelleria. Sounds cool, right? Well, read on to find inspiration from the ways our favorite fashionistas are spending their summer and what to wear for the season.
Your broken hypocrite brother: holidays
Is there anything more exciting than the holidays this summer? Well, if the gymnastic twists and turns from some demonic gay pantomime of broken bro stories are going to pass the clock, then no, there isn’t. Although he’s out of a job, he’s got the fortune to gather wherever he goes – from Glastonbury to Primavera, Decmantel to Sustain-Release. Managing that, he might need a little help getting into gear to see him through the season – no, no That’s what he said. Although the seemingly innocent SafeCan may be a welcome gift to help clean up his criminal record. We’re talking about clobber. From the Raf Simons bomber, it was found at the David Casavant archive sale not at all Determined to prance around with unfamiliar cig-burners, he needs practical yet-cloudy clothing — you know, a Prada re-nylon bucket hat, an Arctic Beta AR jacket, a pair of Balenciaga Croc Boots. Still, no matter what clothing you give him, after months of sleepless nights, it won’t count for much if the body he’s wearing is basically a gray corpse. Like your favorite sibling, slip her a little solution pack consisting of a Boy de Chanel concealer stick, some hydrating salts, two cans of Bella Hadid-backed Keen Euphorix. And if you Really Love him, book him for an IV drip and Barbara Sturm and he’ll be ready to hit the top of the queue in no time.
Material Gworl™ : #Europe
When you watch the resort fashion shows, you wonder who they’re for, here’s your answer: Material Gworl™; I’m sure! In fact, with her full-view policy, you’d be forgiven for thinking she’s the model for the wrong destination show in town if it hadn’t happened two months ago. 2 K per night. To be honest, we’re not here to ask questions! Let the girl live her dream – and ours, at the very least. Then again, life for this The little princess It’s not all Hermès bangles and Pucci scarves. There is no point in packing luggage so light that the porters can reasonably drag it from one boat to another ad infinitum. Less is more here – Louisa Barlow’s swimsuit works just as well on the beach, but for more evening, cut-outs on Nancy Dojaka and Christopher Isber dresses create a wide negative space to enter NuFACE. A toning kit and enough bottles of Shiseido sun cream to last you through October (her official end of summer, unless it’s ours). When it comes to accessories, Prada’s generous raffia tote combines minimalist chic and beach-y sophistication – And In a Missoni bikini, a pair of The Attico mules and a mini Gucci Jackie, she’s perfectly comfortable carrying a pack of Vogue menthols and a mini peppermint (we’ve all seen it). Taken). All modern material Gworl™ must cosplay as Mrs. O herself!
Your cheugy girlboss cousin: a stay
“Sure, Peckham Rye isn’t Patmos, and Clissold Park certainly isn’t Capri, but there’s nothing like a London winter – I tell you!” They glow with incredible fury. You can’t blame them – after all, the sight of the Material Gworl ™ jet would leave a bitter taste in anyone’s mouth during her months-long forced trip to an Amman resort. Although to their point, while really there not at all Anything like contracting E-coli at high-noon in the River Lea, there are a few reasons to choose a stay this summer. Flying isn’t just a bad environmental choice – we’re looking at you, Miss Swift! – but the inevitable horrors of the five-hour-long check-in queue and the lottery-like chances of Rimowa’s case catching up with you are so exciting. But as Kim Jones’ recent tribute to the Bloomsbury set’s summer retreat at Charleston Farmhouse shows, it’s something that’s England’s country-core. So while you’re frittering away your pennies on a paid Whispering Angel at Nicky Beach, a smart gal-pal will be putting that money towards impossibly cute picnics in the city’s sun-kissed parks to make them look postcard perfect. Think: Lowe’s raffia baskets, Heckel’s scented candles, ikebana-level floral arrangements from Sage and Tillingham’s Pet Nat whipping, all backlit by a Telegraph Hill sunset – Es Vedrà never could!
The boho zaddy: airport meltdown
Realizing your boyfriend’s reaction to stressful situations is just as annoying as your dad’s in any context, but especially frustrating when you’re at the airport. Then again, it’s not surprising that your assistant and father are the same age. All it took for the once-stumbling boho zadie to degenerate into our grumpy dad was that his Away Bigger Carry-On – with a power bank, of course – was actually EasyJet’s most famous mini-allowance and he was being told he’d have it. To test. “Now, listen up you incompetent piece of shit!” A desperate check-in yells at the host. “I paid good money for Speedy Boarding for a reason, and that’s because I know you’re going to bloody lose it in the bag. Did you see that dirty pile of luggage at Heathrow?” “Babe, we’ve got AirTags! And travel insurance!”, you try to bid him, and — as he looks up from the line, panicked, wanting you to sleep through the airport to hit him — he relents, flirting and loading his slightly overstuffed luggage onto the conveyor belt. “All those Cadence Travels.” I bought capsules, and why?!” Of course, air travel always brings out the worst in people, and that’s especially the case these days – just take a lesson learned the hard way and get one of those silly under-seat bags doing the rounds on TikTok next time (if there’s one).
Gorpikor Your Lover: Walking
In this age of being real, it’s time to call out the posters – if your boo thinks it’s cool to dress up for a trip to the Alps, now’s the time to see how he’d fare on one! Whether it’s a hike in the Carpathian Mountains or a trek across the Arctic steppe, the first thing you need is a coat that can withstand the British summer showers. Patagonia, as the name well suggests, is the gold standard for off-piste adventures, and Icelandic New-Names-in-Block 66 North is excellent. Of course, when night falls on the mountainside, your looks only get you so far – if it certainly doesn’t have the ability to build a proper fire, this Japanese label Snow Peak Foldaway Grill ensures you’re at least halfway there. Hot food while you find a place to stay for the night. If the shelter is concerned, then, really, why invest in a tent when you can reuse knock-offs from those early Craig Green episodes in the archives? And remember, no mountain is big enough to start living like a mountain man, so be sure to pack some cleanser – Farrell Humanras makes an amazing lightweight rice powder – and some Riemann P20 SPF. Unless you’re at an all-inclusive resort on Kostrava, a lobster won’t make an appearance.
Follow iD on Instagram and TikTok for more great marketing tips.