Dear Annie: I have been married to the love of my life for 15 years, but the last 10 years have been different than the first five. My wife has been suffering from depression for some health reasons with her thyroid, but my problem is that she has stopped going to the doctor.
I beg him to go, but it always ends in a fight. Recently she has started showering only twice a month and does not clean up after herself. She usually forces our children to do this.
I’m at my wits end. I still love her and I would never leave her because I made a vow and she knows it. — At the back of my mind
Dear At My Wit’s End: Watching your wife suffer from depression is devastating. You are living with all the symptoms and it is affecting the whole family. The person who is most on your mind is your wife.
Untreated depression is a terrible way to live. She needs help right away — not just from a thyroid doctor, but from a trained psychiatrist who specializes in depression and can get her on the right path to health. Tell her that this is not only for her sake, but also for the sake of your children and your marriage. Keep supporting her, but don’t give up the fight to get her help.
Dear Annie: Thirty years ago, I met a man and fell in love with him. But he never asked me to marry him. He was 10 years older than me and had two young children. Life went on. I had children of my own, who are now grown and both still live at home. I take care of them and their father.
Now, 30 years later, I can’t help but feel that I still love the man I met so long ago. We are in communication and he wants me to leave my family.
I have never been satisfied with my life, but I always move on. I’m very anxious to do something for myself, and this time I’m tempted, but I just don’t know what to do. Please help. — Lost in the past
Lost Beloved in the Past: The rearview mirror is much smaller than the windshield. Move forward to the life you want for yourself. However, your old flame has no right to ask you to leave the family. He sounds like a control freak who needs to stop interfering in your relationship between your children and their father. If he really wanted you to “run away with him” and leave your family, he should have done it when you two first met and he should have asked you to marry him.
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