Dear ABBY: I am 62 years old and recently retired. My wife is 56 years old and still working. We have been married for 32 years. She will retire at age 60 to receive a full pension from her company and we have several million dollars in our retirement savings.
We travel abroad together once a year for about 10 days. I have talked to him about my desire to travel more often by myself or with my friends in retirement, as it is now my “golden age” and I am still physically able to do it. I like opera/classical music and would like to go to some music festivals, like the Salzburg festival, etc.
My wife thinks I’m selfish since she still works. I have explained that we cannot predict our future physical abilities (my knees are getting worse). If, by the time she retires, I am no longer physically strong enough to travel, I may regret it forever.
If the situation were to change and she wanted to travel by herself or with her friends after she retired, I think it would be selfish of me to insist that she not do it. Is he right? Is my desire to travel more before my wife retires selfish? – Thinking in Pennsylvania
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DEAR MEDITATION: I do not think so. You have worked hard for many years to be able to afford luxury and should be “allowed” to enjoy the benefits of your labor with her blessing. In a few years, she will have the same freedom.
PS I hope your health will allow you both to take many vacations together in the future. And don’t count yourself out because of your “worsening” knees. As I’m sure you know, knee replacements are common now. Some individuals I know say it has greatly improved their lives. (Hips, too!)
Dear ABBY: I am a very successful 55 year old married man. I love my wife, but I also have a boyfriend that I love. Both women feed my soul. I hate that society tells me I’m wrong for having them both. I spend quality time with both. I make enough money to go on expensive, extended vacations. I love my life.
These two ladies are the best thing that ever happened to me besides my three beautiful children. Why shouldn’t I be able to enjoy both without feeling like I’m sneaking around all the time? I know there will be naysayers who will respond. But most women will probably never be the only woman in a man’s life. – HAPPY WITH TWO
DEAR JESUS WITH TWO: This may seem like a silly, unimportant detail, but – how does your wife and mistress feel about this arrangement? You mentioned that you feel like you’re sneaking around. Why is she? Isn’t your wife on board with him? What about your lady? Will she be content with the status quo until she becomes a senior citizen with the understanding that you will leave her a very rich old lady?
I don’t miss that nowhere in your letter did you ask me for “advice”. I’m posting this because we all know there are married men in the upper income brackets who, like you, feel entitled to enjoy the attention of more than one woman. But all it shows is that having money doesn’t guarantee a person has character – or class.